Disclaimer: This one’s a long read, but go on, give a go- you may just vibe with it.
Between education and profession (a.k.a moolah making), one mundane evening I realized that I had lost track of my cosmic existence. By that, I don’t mean that I wished upon waking up one day with a revelation of thoughts and knowing that I’m here for the greater good of mankind (hey, don’t get me wrong, maybe one day I will be enlightened and I will ever graciously take on the cause of my birth with utmost vigor). What I do mean is that I had lost interest (if I ever had any) in the routine tasks I had at hand.
I was paged as the creative one by a few, which is why I chose branding as my creative outlet, hoping to make some bucks while enjoying what I do professionally. On the personal front, I loved to write (it was my expression of emotion, I guess) and I enjoyed revelry (rather thoroughly)- tons of friends, 48-hour parties, intoxicated memoryless moments and the bi-yearly vacations. I was quite a rebel (a very immature one at that) from the age of 16 according to my very patient and forgiving parents.
In 2014, after a stormy period of my life, I decided to start over a new leaf.
New life. (Well, so I thought)
The truth of the matter was that I did indeed try to start over but my mind was still restless and my soul felt incomplete (I was not aware of this at that point, obviously!).
The professional profile did not work well for me, it was, in fact, quite the opposite of what I had envisioned “change to be”. In my mind, I felt caged, claustrophobic and suffocated.
I longed for freedom and I craved breathing- you know, the real breathing- a slow and deep zephyr.
The people there though made all the difference, they were positive, happy and ever so welcoming, their energy was so infectious that it bathed me with enigma the moment I got home.
Yes, so basically, I was an evil grunge lord in the day and was a pot of gold and sunshine by night.
Maybe I was depressed? Bipolar? Or schizophrenic? Trust me, I thought about it, and what I figured was that I was just trying to find a name to hide behind (and my mom’s a psychologist so I would’ve known). I needed to hide, run away from the fact that I had accepted this rut, this routine that I called mundane was handcrafted by no one else but me.
So, I decided to stop, and no, I didn’t vow to write over a new page again, I just decided to change the way I think.
From, “Why me?” (In a pitiful cry of hate), I thought, “Why me?”, (In a way to find a reason).
The first thing I realized with this evolved thought process was that I came here just so that I could rekindle the evergreen friendship I had with these people. Somewhere I had forgotten the importance of people in a crowd of socializing, I couldn’t find the ones that meant the most to me. So, I vowed again, this time, I promised myself that I would cherish these lives forever, not because they have always been there for me but because my soul had bonded with them for eternity.
The second thing I came upon was that this line of profession wasn’t my passion, it was merely a way of making a living but it was something I had to do…well, because we, unfortunately, don’t live in a barter system anymore. So, I could either crib and curse away at it, or I could find a way to merge it with something that gives me joy.
I decided to start writing.
From there began my journey as an “inkstress” (as I love to call myself).
Professionally a content writer, this time I really started afresh, and it turned out great.
I was happy (simply put) and had a rejuvenated outlook towards life.
By now, the two things I gathered:
- Value the people who matter the most.
- If you grow to love what you do, it, in sorts loves you back.
I was beginning to figure out that I had to have faith in the process and remember that everything happens for a reason. By now I had figured that the reason I moved to a new location was just so that I could refresh my thought process, and let this wave of trust and positivity resonate within me.
It was because I had to start believing that the universe had been working for me all the way, making paths for me to choose, pushing me in right directions (which may have seemed like doom back then), and leading me to exactly where I need to be at the perfect time.
As moments passed, this faith I had in her (the universe) only grew stronger, until the day that my best friend (Capt. Aspect) came back into my life, not as himself, but as the part of my soul that had been missing for so long.
That day, I fell in love with the universe, she became my reason for EVERYTHING.
Earlier in this story, I have mentioned how my soul felt incomplete, well, I realized it was not whole because when the captain came into my life- I suddenly felt whole. Like ALL of me was awake.
It was not a feeling of mad love, no desperation to cling on to, no stormy passion- but in fact, it was my calm.
It was colour, it was unadulterated happiness, it was this feeling of content, it was an undying compassion, a personification of trust.
I didn’t need to feel the mad love, desperation or storm because it wasn’t a different soul that I had to get compatible with, it was in fact, the reflection of my very own soul.
All of a sudden, it seemed like everything fell into place, so easily, with absolutely no resistance. And not just for me for Captain as well.
Professionally and personally we started noticing our minds evolving together. Don’t get me wrong, life wasn’t a perfect bed of roses; we had cloudy days, drizzles and thunderstorms but we were at peace knowing that it was these episodes of turmoil that enabled us to transform, lending a hand to our metamorphosis.
Our first adventure together was in Sri Lanka, in 2016. Where Capt. Aspect put a ring on my finger right in the center of the universe as well know it. Lush green hills, a larger than life waterfall and just our hearts beating- he started with “Let nature be witness…” and asked me to be his for life, he didn’t know then that I already was his for all of my lives- for he is my soul, not my soulmate but my whole entire soul.
This is where our journey really begins.
We were planning our bachelor’s trip/bachelorette vacation (separately, of course) until we realized that party’s and strippers just weren’t making the cut for us. Hey, I was planning to spend my life with my best friend, we had a life full of parties ahead (if we wanted).
So, we decided to ditch the party holiday idea and planned to go to the Andaman Islands and get our PADI open water certifications.
Our mornings began at 6 am, maybe earlier on a few days and ended by 8.30 pm on most nights. No alcohol, no television, no network and no internet. It was the vacation that our soul needed to realize what it actually wanted. Peace, freedom, nature, and growth.
Our first dive CHANGED MY LIFE.
The first time that I heard my breath underwater was a revolutionary moment for me. I took my first ever really long, soulfully deep breath- it was nothing short of a melodious zephyr.
It was in that element of nature that I felt ALIVE, I felt like I belonged there.
From then on, the Captain and I have never looked back.
We are always on a quest for soulful experiences, those magical sunsets, those unadulterated sunrises, minutes of pure adventure and hours of sheer thrill- we are in constant search of moments that will make us evolve and that will liberate our soul.
Today, we work (me as a content writer and the Capt. as a commercial airline pilot); We laugh, we tell stories, we meet the people we love, but most importantly we trust that in time-